Flush out. Let go.

"Have you ever considered that things keep spinning out of control for you because you're doing something wrong?" - Annoymous

"I see that you're really on fire for God...yet you still cling to a piece of the world." - Annoymous

A fight with a close friend and a talk with another is all it took for me to realize that I'm still holding on to a piece of time before my life really began. I'm still letting my wants take control, even though I try as hard as I can to control them. A part of me still yearns for the sinful ways of this world...to fit in perhaps. It's a constant struggle, the old me fighting to regain it's position where the Lord now sits.

It's hard. It's so so hard.

Jesus is teaching me something this week. Teaching me it's time for me to completely let it all go and completely follow Him with my whole heart and soul. Of course, being who I am I usually have to learn the hard way, ignoring friends' advice that God had given to me as an easier option.

I'm so so scared.

But I have to remember it's not all about me. It's about the One who loves me so much He came to die for me, as filthy and imperfect as I am. He forgives me no matter what the circumstance and comforts me when I'm at rock bottom. It's all about Him. And every detail of my life should show it. It's time for me to flush out the rest of my old life and let go of the piece of the world I'm still clinging to.

So help me God....

-Emily

Hurt.

Hurt. Everyone feels it at one time or another. Right now, I'm definately going through a hurt period in my life right now, and I feel stuck. Helpless. It's so hard to see God in the midst of all life's carrying for me, but I know He's there. And I know he loves me through all of it.

I was talking to a close friend last night about bits and pieces of what's going on right now, and he gave me some very important wisdom to think about. Tough situations are not all about me. Sometimes to "shut up and listen" to God instead of worrying.

Got to go do homework. I'll write more later hopefully.

-Emily

Confusion.

Oh my. It seems as if I have forgotten my blog for the past few days. But in my defense, school has started up again and now I have homework to go along with my blogging, so I may not get to write for long periods of time, depending on my homework load for the week.

Life's been having it's ups and downs lately. Sometimes I feel like I'm on the top of the world and could do anything I put my heart and mind to. Then, at other times, I'm so confused and feel so hurt I can't do anything but cry and pray. There has been so much death these last few months, along with some personal family problems I'm going through right now, I get so scared wondering and worrying what's right around the corner. It's hard to trust Jesus in times like this, but then I know He will NEVER leave me or forsake me even when it seems like the rest of the world has. But I'm human, and I'm still so scared.

Deuteronomy 31:6
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

I'm completely yours Jesus. You lad me through every storm, every circumstance. I'm so confused right now Lord...take my hand and let me not be afraid of whatever may come, no matter what the cost.

-Em[ily]

Tidbit.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So on account of that I'm not feeling the greatest today, I'm gonna keep this post short and sweet. [probably]

It's finally the New Year! I find this very exciting as this is my very first year to be spending it fully with Jesus Christ! So much has changed in the past year...My views have been forever completely changed, I'm soaking God's Word up like a sponge, I'm experiencing new feelings and meeting new amazing people who want to help me grow in my walk with Jesus. Yes, I am eternally blessed!

I told you it was going to be short. Now I'm going upstairs to see what else Jesus wants to teach me. I may write more tonight!

-Emily